i used to wish i was ignorant. when i was single and in school in DC i felt torn by the lives i wanted to lead: i wanted to marry my best friend, have a family, lay in the sunshine with my kids, and not feel pressured to perform by the standards of the world. but i also looked around me and saw what a need there was in the world for people with education, to really step out and make a difference, to help educate others and improve standards of society. for a long time i didn't see how they could co-exist. i thought it would be selfish of me to live my life to just love my family. my perspective has slowly shifted and i'm beginning to see my place in it. i think there are always what if's or what when's in life....it is amazing how differently life can turn out when you change just a small decision. but i pray that you find peace and happiness wherever your road continues to take you. just remember who you are. deep in your spirit, buried beneath expectations set on yourself or by others, questions, uncertainty, insecurities, hopes, or dreams, there is a small piece of you that will find a home: whether that is in central asia teaching english, or laying in the grass with your kids in michigan someday - but when you find it, you will know, just don't be ashamed or afraid of it and embrace it, because when you do, you won't find yourself yearning for something more.

i love you. :)